


The Life and Death of Stacy III

by KristenBealer



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Parody, Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristenBealer/pseuds/KristenBealer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stacy's true motives are at last revealed! Based on the famous opening monologue from William Shakespeare's Richard III. A response to an Iron Chef issued by Richard Lobinske: Write the cast into one of Shakespeare's plays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life and Death of Stacy III

_Stacy:_   
Now is the winter of our discontent   
Made glorious summer by this sun of Lawndale;   
And it's about time, because those winter fashions did not go with my skin tone.   
Now is our hair extra luminous;   
Our nails buffed to perfection;   
Our outfits coordinated and slenderizing;   
Our pores really tiny and cute,   
But you can't see them, right?   
Popularity has been our goal;   
And now, instead of sitting around at home   
Every weekend, like some kind of loser,   
We have dates every single night and weekend   
And even some weekday afternoons.   
But I, that have a slight asymmetry in my shoulders   
That is very painful for me even to mention;   
I, that wore stretch pants and a slip dress,   
And one time even that butterfly clip;   
I, that get that look from Mom and everyone else   
Whenever I say something stupid;   
Mousy, stressed out, pushed around by everybody   
Just because I'm nice and say "Eep!" a lot,   
And that so timid and afraid to speak up   
Even Mr. O'Neill thinks I have no spine;   
Why, I, in this time of fashion and popularity,   
Don't want to spend the rest of high school   
As Sandi's sycoph--seeco--sicka--   
Kissing up to Sandi all the time.   
And therefore, since Bret Strand never called,   
And I thought he'd ask me out again but he didn't,   
I am determined to be president of the Fashion Club,   
And bring back long skirts, but not too long.   
Plots have I laid, gossip scandalous,   
By writing on bathroom stalls and passing notes,   
To set my friend Quinn and the club president   
To totally hate each other's guts.   
And, if Sandi be as shallow and vain   
As I am smart, two-faced, and sneaky,   
This day should I tell everyone that Brooke   
Said that Brittany said that Nikki said that   
Quinn called Sandi an unfashionable bitch.   
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here Quinn comes.


End file.
